I have always thought that Paris stands for romance, love, black & pink dresses, colored balloons, free spirit, macarons, baguette, cheese, accordionists, and love again. Little did I know that, one day, the world would see Paris as the place of terror. Today, sadness and tears, and flowers, and candles, and the entire world watching in shock how 12 people were killed in the satirical weekly newspaper “Charlie Hebdo”, in the City of Light. What was supposed to symbolize the freedom of spirit, of press, of art, now symbolizes something very, very different. Shockingly different. I’m going to be silent now. I am sharing the moment of silence observed by the world today. Instead, I will let the images speak… Today: National mourning day: Je suis Charlie (Translates to: I am Charlie / I follow Charlie)

Paris (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

Barcelona (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

Berlin (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

Brussels (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

Geneva (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

London (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

Madrid (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

Melbourne (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

Montreal (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

New York (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

San Francisco (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

Sao Paolo (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

Stockholm (Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/)

Toronto (Credit: http://www.thestar/)

Conclusion:

“I may disagree with what you say with every fibre of my being, but I will defend your right to say it with my life.” (Voltaire)

(Credit: https://twitter.com/LucilleClerc/)

ALL OUR CANDLES IN THE WINDOW

Now it is your turn!

Tell us in the comments below, what is one word that you would use to describe this with?

Attristée,
Llyane

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READ MORE:
http://www.j-ouellette.com/je-suis-charlie/

So, if you want to create the best version of yourself, don’t hide in the comfort zone, come out and play – you will surprise yourself as if you’d witness someone else’s adventure. Check out the article below, to see some common traits you can find when you play the right tune between Paris, New York and, most importantly, yourself. (This week: the verb JOUER – to play)

NYC received me like a rogue lover – we didn’t see each other for a while, which made ourrendez-vous even more intense. And, like any passionate amant, he’s taxing me for the absence. Does that upset me? No, because he’s right – I had deserted him. I’m back now, and more ready than ever for a committed relationship.

When you need a space to clean up the ‘Be eS’ from your life, come to NYC.

If you want to be seen exactly for who you are, and find out what vibe you are advertising, while getting an instant tough-love feedback, then come to NYC.

If you crave to express your personality without worrying that you may cause trouble, instead receiving such a unique, wordless love from the people that share the same wave-length with you, that’s when you should come to NYC.

We are fascinated by the Eiffel tower, but may have no idea how much Paris we have right around the corner: Le pain quotidien, Prêt à manger, Bryant Park (designed in the traditional French style), Café MacarOn, French Morning magazine are just a few (I am, of course, leaving a secret or two for my French immersion here with you).

What do Paris and NYC have in common, in my view?

The people let themselves seen and be affected. They inspire me to have an attitude – to make a statement through a choice of clothing, words and facial expression. They subtly draw me in to look and listen.

They create a voice, an attitude so original, it makes me think it’s part of a survival mechanism. Otherwise why would they perfect it so?

If you blend in, you’re spiritually dead, you label yourself as a victim. Only a prey blends in with the environment. Look at your shirt, coat, house, choice of words and hats (if any) – do they cry ‘nice‘? Then you are blending in. You may not want to be outrageous, but you may want to find your own golden balance, where personality meets subtlety (read ‘personality’ twice). Reach it, and it’ll become the point of no return.

The people of Paris and New York will tell you what you advertise. Is it rude? I believe that it’s the very core of what a friend should be. If you advertise old age – they’ll tell you so. If you advertise insecurity, they’ll let you know they see it. Don’t be offended, if anything, be thankful. Just shift gears: as soon as you’ll advertise what you want to be known as, they’ll tell you, just to make you happy. They are a loyal mirror of your soul, and will keep you accountable for who you are. Don’t try to put on a mask (it works in other cities), because they’ll see through it and smile.

This soul gymnastics excites me so much, that I find it hard to not strike a conversation with each and every one of them. This may seem a little easier to do in NYC than in Paris, but do observe them, and you’ll notice that your voice is not taken yet.

Paris has beauty in its buildings and mysterious romance in its people; NYC exhibits a rough visual display and its people show unabashedly their raw feelings. Paris is the subtle version of New York, or New York is an unapologetic version of Paris (with less kissing in public).

Can we have a mix of the best of both worlds?

A good friend of mine told me once that, if we don’t find it, we should co-create it. But what if it already exists, and our eyes are not yet expecting such a perfect combo?

I’m on a quest to create a space that has the best of both worlds. Would you like to be part of it?

Having a perfect crème brulée at the trattoria around the corner from my apartment on the 20th, and a place called “Trois canards” on the other corner of the same block may be enough of a proof that Paris is everywhere in NYC, he’s just playing hide-and-seek.

One more thing. As a judgmental human being, I have a conditioned notion about what is considered to be ugly and beautiful, and I’m amazed how the NY attitude, as well as the Paris attitude, transcend all that. Actually, ugly translates into “no attitude”, “no statement”, stands for “nothing strong enough to be noticed”. These two cities don’t let you be ugly – you’re in good hands!

How about your own city?

If you want to learn how to be in the moment, practice it in one of these cities, where everybody is part of the game. If you want to create the best version of yourself, don’t hide in the comfort zone, come out and play – you will surprise yourself as if you’d witness someone else’s adventure. Avoid having expectations – the reality will surpass your imagination.

Don’t say that you are ‘fine‘, and never try to be ‘nice‘. You won’t get away with it, and soon you’ll be called to tell the truth. Be authentic and make a statement, your statement, the one you were born to make.

And don’t forget that the love is harder to receive than the hate – it demands you to give it right back, and, oh, là-là, is that ever scary! :)

WARNING!

You may find that your bad self comes out a bit – hold on to it, you may need it ;)

photo credit: A.G. Photographe

Now it is your turn!

Tell us in the comments below, what do you hope to discover in yourself when going outside your comfort zone?

Make sure you watch the Learn Parisian French – verb JOUER (to play) on Youtube! While you’re there, and if you like it, please click the ‘Like’ button!

Don’t ever give up on your dream to become bilingual – the world needs your enthusiasm when you go to Paris and fully enjoy it!

Let’s celebrate the 14th of July together!

Hey, hey!

Welcome to J’Ouellette® Concours d’été! :)

We started a new year, with our fifth contest, and the more popular this contest gets, the more people are coming to participate. We had 4 contests so far (one every season), and today we prepare to celebrate the Bastille Day that is next week, so I am attempting to get you in the mood for some French fireworks ;).

So, how is this summer contest going to work?

Every day, between July 7th and July 13th, I’m going to add a Q that you have to A.

We will have 7 questions from different areas of French culture, language and trivia.

If you have one right answer, you will be rewarded with a FREE class with me by Skype* – YAY!!!

Now there is a $399 GRAND PRIZE – The J’Ouellette® VIP French Immersion Value Pack , given to the person who answers ALL the questions correctly and on time.

You have to register, in order to see what is in the treasure chest.

After you register, you will be redirected to the page where the questions are posted, and they are announced via email or social media.

The Summer Contest ends July 13th, 11:59 pm EDT.

Register NOW to be the first to answer the questions and up the odds of winning! :)

All you have to do is to enter your email address in the form below*:

Bonne chance,
Llyane

______
* we will not spam, sell, rent or lease your information
NO PURCHASE IS NECESSARY
(This will also subscribe you to my weekly newsletter.)

So do you date? It may be an obvious question, but you’d be surprised to find that the French don’t even have a word for it! How are they to find the love of their life? The answer may surprise you! Check out the article below to find out, and watch the video for some French worth finding! (This week: the verb TROUVER – to find)

This is a blog post shared from Daniel’s ZenPolitics.

Did you find the ‘click’?

Post written by Daniel, from ZenPolitics.

There was a time when people actually fell in love. There was a time when chemistry was a thing. Sparks and magical moments weren’t mythical. Finding the love of your life was actually a possibility. Etc. etc.

For most of North America, it’s been a thing of the past for a very long time, if it ever was a thing at all. We don’t do it, we don’t believe in it, it’s a subject of ridicule, really. It’s the stuff that pipe dreams are made of, the fodder for the young and stupid, the naïve.

No, we don’t do that sort of foolishness. We just date.

What is that?

It’s when you’ve made a habit out of dehumanizing your fellow human being, specifically the opposite sex. They’re a little less than human. They’re a resource for sex, security and perhaps financial interdependence.It’s when you’ve built an entire culture complete with its own vocabulary behind this inhuman exercise. It’s what happens when socializing is grotesquely gender exclusive. From guys’ night out to girls-only slumber parties, the sexes have become worlds apart. Going out with friends is so rare that dating, a word whose meaning is so relentlessly implied but never understood, has become the near-exclusive way to even meet anyone from the other side.

And it’s anything but casual. Dating is a job interview on steroids and, predominantly, in restaurants. Any attempt at removing expectations or interview-style back-and-fourth is effectively eliminated. God forbid there be any relaxation or fun or anything recognizably human about the whole experience. No, you’re supposed to put on your best outfit and your best face and try to impress the other person into falling in love with you, or at the very least, giving you a kiss goodnight and a follow-up phone call over the next 3 days. Oh, and it’s not an “exclusive” relationship until it’s somehow explicitly determined.

That’s right, there is this step from “a date” to the process of “dating”. This is the only casual element to the cacophony of dating. It’s sort of like a “test” relationship, and you can have more than one at the same time, which surely favors the misogynistic elements of society. Gone are the days where a kiss is more than just a kiss. Nowadays, such acts have lost all intimacy.

The rest of the world seems to know better.

The French don’t do any of this, for example. To them, human beings are equal. They can go out together in groups and have a great time. They can have sparks and find love without having to date and kiss random strangers until they figure out who is actually worth their time and heart. They don’t even have a word for dating, because they don’t need one. They’re not afraid of each other’s opposite sex to the point where they need to have exclusive nights out just to be social. They build their relationships based on the reality of each other’s humanity, not based on how perfect they can pretend to be or how perfectly they can answer their way out of check-mate interview questions.

That’s probably because they take human relationships a little more seriously there. Intimacy still has value, kisses still mean something. Actions still speak louder than words, so the exclusivity of a relationship is implied and self-evident.

…Oh, and nobody has to be asking themselves “Where is this relationship going”.

Daniel @ ZenPolitics

photo credit: A.G. Photographe

Now it is your turn!

Tell us in the comments below, did you come across any of these cultural differences, and how would/did they impact you? :)

Make sure you watch the Learn Parisian French – verb TROUVER (to find) on Youtube! While you’re there, and if you like it, please click the ‘Like’ button!

Don’t ever give up on your dream to become bilingual – the world needs your enthusiasm when you go to Paris and fully enjoy it!

LIKE this post? Then SHARE it with your friends!

p.s.
For new ways to work with me, click here!

So have you ever wondered what will you do once you speak French? Many of us dream, but few of us actually allow ourselves to name it! Maybe we don’t even know what plans we will have as the new person we become, until we try it on, like a pair of magic shoes! Check the article below for some surprising introspective insights, and watch the video for some French you should allow into your life! (This week: verb PERMETTRE – to allow)

Did this ever cross your mind?

I’m in my backyard, sitting at the old glass table with way too many memories, on an old plastic yellow chair (why don’t they make the chairs in yellow, is this perhaps a forbidden color? Oh, well, I’ll wait for Ikea to come up with their next yellow chair… until then…) and I am wondering when will my noisy neighbors will come back home.

Meanwhile, I’m taking advantage of the chirping, soothing sound of the air conditioning (not mine, but man, is it loud!) and the soft breeze of this wonderful Friday afternoon to write for you.

I’m reflecting on my lifestyle.

Coming all the way to Canada from Europe, in a culture that felt so different from home that I was comparing to Mars versus the familiar Earth for the first year.

What made me change the earth I was stepping on, the food (so differently tasting and, forgive me, dear Canadians, but not in a good way), the water which felt so much harder on my hair and skin, the culture that was foreign and people more distant than I thought they would be?

I did come to a sky that I never thought can be that majestic, a wilderness and beauty of the nature that can take your breath away, art in the street and people helping me more than I could imagine it would be possible.

I came for the opportunity of proving myself that I can conquer the unexpected.

I came for the lifestyle.

But the changes didn’t stop here. After many years of many adventures and many challenges, I am now headed to a lifestyle involving travel and choice of my land depending on the season. I can now work from anywhere in the world and, guess what? I do just that.

So what was the motivator for my change of roots?

Lifestyle.

I wanted to taste the lifestyle that I was reading about. I’d love to taste a little bit of everything that fascinates me and, eventually, find or create the place that I can call ‘home’.

But perhaps that ‘home’ is not a special place, not even a special person, it is more who I become in the process.

Which is what I believe that you do too. It could be the one thing that you and I have in common.

French is probably that something that you need in your life in order to feel good, to feel more expressive, to feel yourself.

French is probably something that gives you the feeling that you are creating the lifestyle that you are supposed to have.

The adventurous you who doesn’t have an outlet in your society, dreams that one day you’ll be in Paris as romantic as one can be. To try this lifestyle on like a new shirt and magically be able to be the you that can sing in the rain and walk at night by the Seine.

That you who didn’t practice this lifestyle since teenage or young adulthood, now claims the space.

At least for an hour a week, or a week in the year, we can dream to be what we are supposed to – a fully expressed, bigger than life soul testing the places and the people for familiar fragrances.

Because if not now, then when?

Next step: learn French and design your lifestyle – then come back and tell us one insight from your adventure.

Now it is your turn!

Tell us in the comments below, what is the ultimate reason you are learning French?

Make sure you watch the Learn Parisian French – PERMETTRE (to allow) on Youtube! While you’re there, and if you like it, please click the ‘Like’ button!

Don’t ever give up on your dream to become bilingual – the world needs your enthusiasm when you go to Paris and fully enjoy it!

LIKE this post? Then SHARE it with your friends! ;)

p.s.
For new ways to work with me, click here!

So have you ever had a friend whose table manners were so bad that you wonder how they got to be your friend? Hihi, just kidding, I’m sure that doesn’t happen often, but with the French, you can’t be too careful, no? Table manners are very important, especially when you’re dining out and about in Paris! Check out the article below for some great tips on how to keep your table manners impeccable, and watch the video for some French worth coming back to! (This week: verb REVENIR – to come back)

This is the 5th episode of our series of articles regarding French manners and etiquette. (Read Part 1, 2, 3, 4)

The French, like all people, share a number of codes and conventions that govern individual behavior in social life. These codes are called politeness, « savoir vivre », good manners or etiquette. These codes of behavior facilitate relationships between individuals, they help to create social harmony. They also define what is expected, allowed or prohibited in certain situations, dictate the obligations of each party to the social hierarchy, between men and women (gallantry) . Often, they also help “locate” an individual in relation to the standard: ignorance or knowledge of certain protocols in fact reveal a lack in education, or the contrary, qualities.

Does this cut your appetite?

The meal around the table with guests is a time where the quality of etiquette and politeness of each individual are tested extensively. The guests at the table are eating, but also speaking, observe and listen each other over a period of time which can often last more than two hours.

It is usually the hostess who assigns the place of the guests at the table, therefore you must wait until she tells you your place. In general, if you are a man, you will be placed between two women, as the hostess wants to alternate the guests of each sex. Men normally have the duty to care for their neighbor and to make conversation with her.

The napkin found on your plate will be placed half unfolded on his knees (not around the neck!), and hands (not the elbows!) will be placed on the table, each side of the cutlery. The knives and the spoon for soup can be found to the right of the plate, while the forks are at the left. It is common for three glasses to be placed in front of the plate: the largest is for water, the smallest for white wine, and the medium sized glass is for red wine. The bread is placed in a basket close by, but it is forbidden to “nibble” before the first dish (you can do it at the restaurant though). We do not drink before eating and it is the hostess who invites guests to start.

The guests generally serve themselves by passing the dishes. Men offer to serve the women with food, as well as to fill up their glasses. If you think you’ve had enough to drink, leave your glass full – you will not receive more! When you drink, do not forget to wipe your lips before drinking, in order keep your glass clear throughout the meal. Wipe your lips after it as well, if possible, by holding your towel with both hands. If the hostess asks you to take more food, it is polite to refuse the first time, for not giving the impression that you are a big eater. Wait until she asks you again, to accept.

However, if you do not like a dish, try to eat a little anyway, to not offend your hosts. Finally, the habit of leaving a little something on the plate to show that you are not a big eater is actually rarely appreciated: rather the guests feel that if you do not finish your meal might offend the hosts and especially your hostess, who spent time choosing and preparing the food.

The rules of etiquette at the table are many, here are some things primarily prohibited: you do not talk with your mouth full, you close the mouth while eating; you don’t blow on the soup to cool it down; you don’t cut your salad with a knife, nor the omelette or the pasta. Potatoes should not be mashed, but separated with the side of the fork. We “push” the meat, the vegetables on a fork with a piece of bread, not with the knife. You never take a fishbone with your fingers, you leave it with your lips on the fork and then place it on the side of the plate. It is normally rude to take the sauce from your plate with bread, « saucer », but the temptation is great and everyone is quietly doing it! We don’t mash the cheese on the bread, we eat it piece by piece. You don’t cut the bread with a knife, you “break” it with your hands.

When finished, we put our cutlery (fork and knife) on our plate without crossing the tip of the fork facing down. The use of toothpicks is strictly prohibited, you won’t find them on the table.

When the hostess gives the signal, the guests can leave the table, they then lay their napkins (not folded) near their plate, while they leave their chair.

Too many rules?
Do you feel like you’d need to have a cheat sheet for these rules alone?

Interesting how these rules become second nature after just practicing them only a couple of times. What better way to practice than by making friends and getting invited to one of these lovely events? Next step: learn French and make friends – I’ll bet you’ll teach everyone around the subtleties of the table etiquette.

Inspired from french.hku.hk
photo credit: A.G. Photographe

Now it is your turn!

Tell us in the comments below, which habit you’d never remember or you fear you’d forget?

Make sure you watch the Learn Parisian French – REVENIR (to come back) on Youtube! While you’re there, and if you like it, please click the ‘Like’ button!

Don’t ever give up on your dream to become bilingual – the world needs your enthusiasm when you go to Paris and fully enjoy it!

LIKE this post? Then SHARE it with your friends! ;)

p.s.
For new ways to work with me, click here!

So when was the last time you had to pay someone a visit? You know that the French have some specific rules of etiquette that you should know if you don’t want to upset your future friends! Check out the article below for some more insight and watch the video for some French worth paying a visit! (This week: verb RENDRE – to give back)

This is the fourth episode of our series of articles regarding French manners and etiquette. (Read Part 1, 2, 3)

The French, like all people, share a number of codes and conventions that govern individual behavior in social life. This system of codes is called politeness, « savoir vivre », good manners or etiquette. These codes of behavior facilitate relationships between individuals, they help to create social harmony. They also define what is expected, allowed or prohibited in certain situations, dictate the obligations of each party to the social hierarchy, between men and women (gallantry) . Often, they also help “locate” an individual in relation to the standard: ignorance or knowledge of certain protocols in fact reveal a lack in education, or the contrary, qualities.

Pay a visit… de bon ton!

When you are invited for a soirée, a dinner, a cocktail at someone, it is necessary to observe this rule: do not arrive on time! In other words, if you are invited for 19:00 hours, it is customary to arrive 10 or 15 minutes later, because if you go sooner, you’d arrive too early. However, if you foresee a “real” delay of more than thirty minutes, it is polite to call the host to prevent them.

What can we bring for the host when invited? A bouquet of flowers of course (as natural as possible, without wrapping paper), but a bottle of good wine, copy of a book you’ve read recently, or a box of chocolates is probably a better choice. It must be assumed that your host if they receive many guests, will perhaps not be very available to deal with several bouquets of flowers to prepare, place in a vase etc. The supreme elegance is sending flowers ahead of time, the day before or the day of the visit with a card and a few words of thanks.

The French love the conversation in general, but it should remain « de bon ton » as usual. Saying nothing is considered of bad taste, but to want to shine too much is also frowned upon. Avoid conversation topics which are too controversial, like politics, religion, morality, taxation, so as not to reveal too openly his opinions. Also avoid criticizing certain professions (lawyers, teachers, doctors etc.), because it is always possible that one of the guests engaged in one of these professions.

Talking too much about oneself or monopolize attention to oneself is frowned upon. Wait until the speaker has finished his sentence to speak in turn, must also avoid to openly contradict this person, even if we do not share his views. It is important to listen to what we are told, in particular the answers to the questions that were asked.

It is impolite to “monopolize” someone for too long, even if the person seems to listen with interest. If another guest says ‘hi’ and addresses to the person to whom you speak, it is best to let them join another group.

When leaving your hosts, it is of course essential to say your good-byes and thank them personally. In general, it is not necessary to say good-bye to other guests before leaving, but circumstances vary greatly. In the case of a small group, it is obvious that your departure will be noticed, it will be polite to greet everyone, either individually or by contacting the group. It is also possible that your departure causes several other departures. The farewells can sometimes take a while in France, it is not uncommon in fact that after the first “goodbye”, the conversation to be restarted again for fifteen or twenty minutes. The idea of ​​”leaving” for French is an intended “project” rather than a determined act that runs immediately. In short, too abrupt a departure will be considered abnormal and rude.

It is polite to send a thank you message or call your guests the day after their invitation, but this habit is much less common in France than in Germany or in Anglo-Saxon countries. If you have made promises to your host or a guest, keep these promises, unless you realize that it is the wine and not the reason that made you speak!

Some things are common sense, and some are different. This is true for cultures too! Question is, do you comply or do you like to stick to what you know?

Immersing yourself in the culture that’s around you and making friends is definitely the way to get acquainted to etiquette and to start feeling like it’s your own.

You are not a tourist – you use J’Ouellette® to become yet another example that reinforces the fact that English speaking people around the world work really hard to learn and honour other cultures. You are an international citizen who respects the French culture, because it touches you in a special way and keeps calling you to pay a visit.

Inspired from french.hku.hk
photo credit: A.G. Photographe

Now it is your turn!

Tell us in the comments below, which code of etiquette mentioned above feels the most foreign to you?

Make sure you watch the Learn Parisian French – RENDRE (to give back) on Youtube! While you’re there, and if you like it, please click the ‘Like’ button!

Don’t ever give up on your dream to become bilingual – the world needs your enthusiasm when you go to Paris and fully enjoy it!

LIKE this post? Then SHARE it with your friends! ;)

p.s.
For new ways to work with me, click here!

So when was the last time you greeted someone? It may seem simple enough, but if you don’t greet Parisians properly, you might find yourself in trouble! It’s always worth knowing how to avoid such mistakes! Check out the article below for some golden tips, and watch the video for some French that’s truly worth it! (This week: verb VALOIR – to be worth)

This is the second episode of our series of articles regarding French manners and etiquette. (Read Part 1)

The French, like all people, share a number of codes and conventions that govern individual behavior in social life. This system of codes is called politeness, « savoir vivre », good manners or etiquette. These codes of behavior facilitate relationships between individuals, they help to create social harmony. They also define what is expected, allowed or prohibited in certain situations, dictate the obligations of each party to the social hierarchy, between men and women (gallantry) . Often, they also help “locate” an individual in relation to the standard: ignorance or knowledge of certain protocols in fact reveal a lack in education, or the contrary, qualities.

Shake or kiss?

When you enter a room where there are people, it is customary to say « Bonjour » on arrival, but it is not mandatory to shake everybody’s hand. The French are more formal when meeting, they generally associate a gesture – shake hands – with speech. If this is a first meeting, we can say: « Enchanté », « Ravi de vous rencontrer », or simply tell your name: « Bonjour ! Marcel Duchamp. ».

If you are introduced to someone, it is best to wait until that person tends your hand to greet her.

Handshake (i.e. the act of shaking hands with someone) is more common in France than in the Anglo-Saxon countries, for example. Arriving at the office in the morning, it is common for the French to throw a « Bonjour, ça va ? » or a « Salut Philippe ! » by shaking hands, even if they have seen each other the day before.

In the evening, when leaving, it is not unusual to shake hands again. Shaking hands is thus a ritual of opening and closing of the meeting, the act of greeting and parting is strongly marked by this gesture. A meeting of less than five minutes – in the street, for example – can be introduced by a handshake and ended with another.

Greetings between men and women are enhanced by an additional kiss. It is not unusual to shake hands with a woman, but a man kisses on each cheek a woman he knows: relative, colleague or friend. Quite often, when the relationship is not yet well developed, a man will take the hand of a woman to greet her, but at the same time lean towards her to kiss her, meaning that the relationship is closer, more friendly. Just like the handshake, kissing is a gesture that marks the beginning of the meeting, and again, it is not unusual for a brief conversation in the street to be introduced by kisses and finished by other kisses when leaving, even after a few minutes.

This ritual kissing sometimes causes hesitation, or even embarrassment: the standard is in fact of two kisses, one on each cheek, but a person who is used to do three or four risks to kiss in the air if the other has already removed themselves. When this is the case, then we can laugh and start the game over, by saying « Moi, j’en fais quatre ! » Women kiss each other more often than men, except if it is a close relative (father, brother, cousin, etc.) When men hug each other, we often call it a « accolade », which is to put an arm around their neck, while giving a few pats on the back.

In the case where two people meet at a certain distance (each on another side of the street, for example), a code is used: if one knows that person, and if the relationship is rather informal, a small discreet hand signal is used. However, if one crosses in the street a person with whom we maintain a formal relationship (teacher, supervisor, etc.) and we know very little, it is better to mark this event with a nod of the head only. If this person is accompanied, it is recommended to refrain from making a sign, unless that person makes themselves a gesture. Finally, if the person you have not noticed (or looks like they didn’t notice you), again, it is best to make no sign.

Is this too much to remember? Is it familiar or is it plain annoying? In either case, it would be nice to learn some French, in order to easily assess when to use the right etiquette for the situation that you find yourself in. :)

Inspired from french.hku.hk
photo credit: A.G. Photographe

Now it is your turn!

Tell us in the comments below, is kissing someone on the cheek uncomfortable for you?

Make sure you watch the Learn Parisian French – VALOIR (to be worth) on Youtube! While you’re there, and if you like it, please click the ‘Like’ button!

Don’t ever give up on your dream to become bilingual – the world needs your enthusiasm when you go to Paris and fully enjoy it!

LIKE this post? Then SHARE it with your friends! ;)

p.s.
For new ways to work with me, click here!

So did you ever find yourself calling someone “vous” instead of “tu” and vice versa? Knowing when to formally address a person and if you should do the shift to “tu” can put you in quite a pickle! Check out the article below to find out all about how to say “you” respectfully in French, and watch the video for some French worth picking! (This week: verb CUEILLIR – to pick)

This is the third episode of our series of articles regarding French manners and etiquette. (Read Part 1 and Part 2)

The French, like all people, share a number of codes and conventions that govern individual behavior in social life. This system of codes is called politeness, « savoir vivre », good manners or etiquette. These codes of behavior facilitate relationships between individuals, they help to create social harmony. They also define what is expected, allowed or prohibited in certain situations, dictate the obligations of each party to the social hierarchy, between men and women (gallantry) . Often, they also help “locate” an individual in relation to the standard: ignorance or knowledge of certain protocols in fact reveal a lack in education, or the contrary, qualities.

Which one do you pick: tu or vous?
(Vous êtes gentil, je t’aime !)

When you enter a room where there are people, it is customary to say « Bonjour » on arrival, but it is not mandatory to shake everybody’s hand. The French are more formal when meeting, they generally associate a gesture – shake hands – with speech. If this is a first meeting, we can say: « Enchanté », « Ravi de vous rencontrer », or simply tell your name: « Bonjour ! Marcel Duchamp. ».

A simple pronoun and verb form make a world of difference in interpersonal relationships in France.

The shift from « vous » (formal) to « tu » (informal) is a common ritual that marks the evolution of a relationship.

Usage of the pronoun « tu » actually means more closeness, more privacy, less formality in contacts, communication and even topics of conversation. This change is immediately noticeable for each individual, a kind of mental and physical relaxation occurs that transforms how to act and behave. The shift from « vous » to « tu » is done more easily between people of the same sex than the opposite sex; age also plays an important role. This shift is often formalized by a question as follows: « On pourrait se tutoyer maintenant, ce serait plus simple ? » or « Ça vous dérangerait si on se tutoyait ? »

There are a large number of cases of spontaneous « tu »: young children, for example, talk to adults using the pronoun « tu » until they learn – when they are about 7 or 8 – to distinguish circumstances where they must make a choice. Moreover, same age teenagers use « tu » spontaneously, without distinction of sex. Members of the same family use « tu »; except in exceptional cases today, the children never tell « vous » to their parents. The spontaneous « tu » is also customary in some circles, clubs, associations; this has the effect of strengthening the sense of unity and belonging.

In general, you address with « vous » people you meet for the first time, the supervisor, an older person than yourself. There are some cases where a person is authorized to say « tu » , while his partner uses « vous »: a teacher talking to a young student, an adult to a young child, an elderly person addressing a much younger person. This situation does not allow the person to « tutoyer » his interlocutor in return, showing that the formal mode is not only a mark of formality, but also an indicator of social hierarchy that allows to show his respect.

In a first meeting, choosing between « vous » and « tu » is not always easy, there are circumstances where you may hesitate, and where a solution must be found verbally. Even if the first contact is warm, it is safer to use « vous » until the interlocutors find a protocol.

In general, it is the oldest, or one that is in a supervisory position, or one the person who welcomes you who will decide: « On pourrait peut-être se dire tu? »

In the southern regions of France and in Spain or Italy, to say « tu » at the first meeting is much more frequent than in the north, where the spontaneous familiarity often is perceived as aggression.

The use of « vous » has long prevailed in the French society, until the late 18th century. The Enlightenment philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau, author of “Emile: or, On Education” (1762), just before the Revolution, recommend routine familiarity in the family. Today, the use of the familiar is increasingly common, especially among younger generations. Generally attributed this development to the influence of the English language, in which the pronoun '"you"is seen as the equivalent of the French « vous », which is not necessarily true.

Definitely a challenge for the born English speaker, and this habit becomes second nature only by exposing yourself to the French language and culture.

Immersing yourself in the culture and having a guide to whisper in your ear, like the Jiminy, the Cricket, the right way to approach people, is an ideal way to deal with these two little buggers. You don’t want to offend your newly made French friends, or to cause unwanted amusement if you are overly polite. You want to feel comfortable, safe, even admired by the French who hear too much English from tourists.

But you are not a tourist – you use J’Ouellette® to become yet another example that reinforces the fact that English speaking people around the world work really hard to learn other languages and cultures. You are an international citizen who respects other cultures and their language, especially French, because it touched your heart in an unique and unforgettable way.

Inspired from french.hku.hk

Now it is your turn!

Tell us in the comments below, how well do you master using “vous”?

Make sure you watch the Learn Parisian French – CUEILLIR (to pick) on Youtube! While you’re there, and if you like it, please click the ‘Like’ button!

Don’t ever give up on your dream to become bilingual – the world needs your enthusiasm when you go to Paris and fully enjoy it!

LIKE this post? Then SHARE it with your friends! ;)

p.s.
For new ways to work with me, click here!

So, how good are your manners? You know, the French take manners very seriously! You could lose a friend or maybe even your head if you’re not careful. ;) Check out the article below for some more insight into French manners, and watch the video for some French that’s not worth losing! (This week: verb PERDRE – to lose)

Find out if you have bad manners in Paris

Today, I’m starting a little series of articles regarding French manners and etiquette.

It has been my experience that most people are quite surprised when I mention that there is such a thing as an etiquette code that my friends and I learned when we were in our teens.

When crossing cultures, it is quite normal to see differences in social etiquette, of course, but knowing that most of us would like to be accepted, to blend in when we go to Paris, I’m bringing you the survival kit, to be considered de bon ton.

Let’s get started, shall we?

You must respect time. Punctuality is an essential act of etiquette. If you have a rendez-vous in the street or in a public place at a specific time, you must arrive on time; the maximum tardiness that is tolerated is five minutes. If it is a business or a professional appointment, a doctor’s or dentist’s appointment, it is recommended to arrive five or ten minutes earlier. The French have a reputation of being late often; whether it’s true or false, being late is always considered rude.

In France, we refrain from calling after 22:00 hours on the phone (10 pm), except when calling close friends.

Spitting in the street is strictly prohibited. Belching in public is very rude. Yawning without covering your mouth, nose or sneezing loudly are also considered very bad behavior.

In the street, there are special passages (before the red lights or not) that pedestrians use to cross. To not use crosswalks, also called « les clous » or « passage clouté », is frowned upon, although in France this code of conduct is far from being respected.

When using public transportation (bus, train, subway), it is customary to offer your seat to an elderly person, a pregnant woman, or a person with a child.

In an elevator, in public transportation, or in the street, you do not stare at people. Staring at a person is considered very rude. Speaking loudly to a person who accompanies you or when on the phone is also frowned upon.

At the end of a meal, it is normal in France to share the bill equally among all the guests, unless one of them wants to pay everything. However, it is still customary at a dinner for two, that a man pays for the woman who accompanies him, even if this is less common among young people.

In a line, you have to be orderly like everyone else and wait patiently for your turn. It is extremely rude to overtake someone or come directly to the counter to handle your business. Those who allow themselves to have this behavior will earn a sanctioning gaze, or will be verbally admonished.

We must say “thank you” when we receive something , when someone provides us with a service. If you receive a gift, it is not rude to open it immediately. However, we can do it after a conventional short sentence : “Is it OK to open it right away? “. Even if the gift is not to your liking, or is not what you expected, you do not show your disappointment.

You may be either shocked or relieved – better yet, not at all surprised. In either case, it would be nice to learn some French, in order to easily assess when to use the right etiquette for the situation that you find yourself in. :)

Now it is your turn!

Tell us in the comments below, what is the one French manner that you never see yourself taking on?

Make sure you watch the Learn Parisian French – TO LOSE (perdre) on Youtube! While you’re there, and if you like it, please click the ‘Like’ button!

Don’t ever give up on your dream to become bilingual – the world needs your enthusiasm when you go to Paris and fully enjoy it!

LIKE this post? Then SHARE it with your friends! ;)

p.s.
For new ways to work with me, click here!

Hey, hey!

Welcome to J’Ouellette® Concours de printemps! :)

We come full circle, with our fourth contest, and the more popular this contest gets, the more people are coming to participate. We had a Summer, Fall and Winter contest, and this is our first Spring, to celebrate the warm weather and the Easter starting next week, so I know you are in the mood ;).

So, how is this spring contest going to work?

Each day, between April 11th and April 17th, I’m going to add a Q that you have to A.

We will have 7 questions from different areas of French culture, language and trivia.

If you send me one right answer, you will be rewarded with a FREE assessment with me by Skype* – YAY!!!

Now there is a $399 Surprise GRAND PRIZE, given to the person who answers ALL the questions correctly.

You have to register, in order to see what is in the treasure chest.

After you register, you will be redirected to the page where the questions will be posted, as they are announced via email or social media.

The Spring Contest ends April 17th, 11:59 pm EST.

Register NOW to have a chance to the Grand Prize! :)

All you have to do is to enter your email address in the form below*.

Bonne chance,
Llyane

______
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