Amuse-Bouche No. 19: La paperasserie (red tape)by Julia Frey(julia.frey@aya.yale.edu)How do you say “Catch 22” in French?My husband and I need French permis de conduire (driver’s licenses). Makes me nervous. French paperasserie (red tape) is notorious. Of course, bureaucracy has a bad rep everywhere. Lately Le Monde discussed the nightmare of trying to pay a fine in Russia. And we won’t even mention the U.S. Immigration Service. Besides, what am I afraid of? A recent sondage (poll) says “73.2 pour cent (%) des Français” are proud of their fonctionnaires. The five to six million employées of la fonction publique (literally: public functioning), who represent 20 to 25% of the working population of France, are a class act. Civil servants run all government agencies, from la Poste (the post office) to the Elysée Palace, including hospitals and l’Education Nationale. Access to these jobs is exclusively by competitive exam and includes lifetime job security. The French consider this le rêve (a dream job).Still, it’s a love-hate relationship (“je t’aime moi non plus”). Look up bureaucratie in Robert’s Dictionnaire. First definition: “l’influence abusive de l’administration” (misuse of official power). Napoléon’s improvement on the centralized administration inaugurated by Louis XIV’s finance minister, Jean-Baptiste Colbert, was to give local prefects executive power, thereby attaching the hands of petty bureaucrats to the long arm of the nation. Georges Clemenceau (1841–1929), twice prime minister, noted humorously, “France is an extremely fertile country: If you plant fonctionnaires, what grows is taxes”. He further commented, “Fonctionnaires are like books in a bookcase. It’s the ones on the top shelf that get the least use”. Maybe that’s why fonctionnaires are called ronds de cuir (literally, rounds of leather). A rond de cuir is a cushion shaped like an inner tube, for people who’ve developed hemorrhoids from sitting too long.But back to our driver’s licenses. First stop, la gendarmerie (police station), where a smiling fonctionnaire leans toward us conspiratorially. “Don’t get a permis de conduire”, she says. “Just use your foreign one. We don’t give traffic points to non-French licenses”. I’m astonished to hear an official suggest using the “système D” (for débrouillard -- i.e. finding a clever, but unofficial way around a problem). But what if we have an accident? Answer: The insurance wouldn’t pay. So we’re off to the sous-préfecture for licenses, bringing the required papiers: passports, photos, current driver’s licenses, birth certificates, and preuves de domicile (proof of address).It’s a little like the supermarché fish counter: take a number, faire la queue (wait in line). Our turn finally comes. The fonctionnaire just needs to verify la réciprocité. Quoi ? Since there’s no national U.S. driver’s license, France requires a separate reciprocity agreement with each state. Only some states have them. Auguste has a New Jersey license. New Jersey n’est pas sur la liste.“So what should I do?” he asks.“You have to go to driving school”, she says, “then pass a driving test”.“But I passed my test in Holland when I was 18 years old”.“Why didn’t you say so? France has réciprocité with les Pays-Bas”.Auguste tossed his expired Dutch license years ago. Pas de (pro) blème. Just ask Dutch authorities to document you’ve had a license. At gendarmerie, declare license lost. At préfecture provide documentation and declaration, plus self-addressed, stamped envelope. Eventually you’ll get French license.My turn. Colorado has réciprocité. Extra (extraordinaire, great) ! I sail through, pocketing temporary license and providing SASE. Envelope arrives—no license. Inside, letter requesting copy of my titre de séjour (long-stay visa). Wait a minute! As the non-working wife of a European, legally I don't need a visa. But in l’administration, sometimes the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing. The legislation is complicated, and fonctionnaires famously devise information au pif (by nose, i.e., by the seat of their pants), or worse, à la tête du client (depending on whether they like your face) Four email exchanges, five trips to the wrong offices, and no official can help me out. Everyone says something different. C’est Kafkaïen (Kafkaesque). Finally they insist I get a visa anyway. Want to say “Catch 22” in French? Try cercle vicieux or situation inextricable.I wait for hours outside the préfecture for a chance at one of the 49 daily appointments to apply for long-term visas. The 293 people behind me in line don’t get one. I show the fonctionnaire all the required papiers. “Mais où est votre mari ?” My husband? I didn’t bring him—“Il n’est pas sur la liste !”If you can’t fight city hall, make fun of it. In Paris as I write, not one but two comedies mock civil servants: one about a fonctionnaire who wants to organize a general strike so he can go to a soccer game, the other a revival of Georges Courteline’s 1911 play Messieurs les Ronds-de-Cuir.
E-mail me when people leave their comments –

You need to be a member of New York in French to add comments!

Join New York in French

Comments

  • Merci Viviane ! Avec Claude L, je continue à être déçue que je n'arrive pas à trouver une traduction aussi spirituelle que l'anglais...
  • Brava! Thank you!
  • Salut,
    D'apres le Collins/Robert, Catch 22 pourrait se traduire soit par: "Il n'y a pas moyen de s'en sortir", soit par "A tous les coups on perd" -
    Viviane
  • "Am I wrong?" It's not for me to say. It may very well be that people are using "Je t'aime, moi non plus" to describe one person's ambivalence about another, I just think it's obviously not what Gainsbourg had in mind -- and it's certainly not what it sounds like the voices in the song feel for each other!
    Btw, la première chose qui m'est venue à l'esprit pour "catch 22" est "la quadrature du cercle", qui ne rend pas compte des conditions contradictoires, incompatibles, à remplir. Finalement, ton "cercle vicieux" rend beaucoup mieux l'idée, je me demande d'ailleurs si on ne parle pas de "cercle infernal", ce qui est plus fort. Mais j'aimerais bien que quelqu'un nous aide à trouver un meilleur équivalent (même si ton titre était en fait une "rhetorical question").
  • Claude L,

    Merci pour tes 2 commentaires subtils et si intéressants. Je suis d'accord avec toi sur l'analyse très exacte et claire de ce qui se passe chez Gainsbourg, et moi aussi j'admire son génie -- en l'occurrence ce n'est pas une litote, simplement une observation honnête. Moi, adolescente romantique, je ne comprenais cela que trop bien, et je le trouvais à la limite de la muflerie. (Maintenant, je l'apprécie mieux.)

    p.s. Je ne sais pourquoi mais NYinFrench est le seul site que je connaisse où l'on se vouvoie. Cela me gêne-- je préfère la convention du tutoiement -- même à mon âge...

    As you already know, in English a "love-hate relationship" is "I love and I hate" -- referring to one person who has both sets of feelings towards someone, or to two people who have mixed feelings towards each other. So the Gainsbourg quote is not really a translation-- I was trying to be funny. However, I did look it up, and discovered “je t’aime moi non plus” apparently is now used in French to describe just this sort of ambivalence -- one person feeling two ways about another. Am I wrong?
  • PS: I'm not saying a love-hate relationship is one where one person loves the other and is paid in return with hate; I'm just saying I don't see one in "Je t'aime, moi non plus".
  • Encore un mot de Claude L.
    Excusez-moi, mais je ne vois pas où est la litote, puisque vous convenez avec moi que le mec n'a aucune animosité contre la nana. Il n'a d'ailleurs sans doute aucune "passion romantique" à avouer ou à nier, il est simplement content de son sort, qu'il savoure tranquillement et en toute franchise; et le génie de Gainsbourg consiste en ce que le mec fait semblant de répondre et dit presque ce que la nana attend, mais sans mentir, grâce à cette formule à la limite de l'absurde. Pour moi, il pense "c'est ça, si tu veux, mais j'en ai rien à cirer que tu m'aimes, c'est pas pour ça que je suis là; qu'est-ce que c'est bon, dis donc!"
  • each his translation
  • Un mot pour Claude L.

    Actually the best translation for a love-hate relationship comes from Latin: odio et amo. But Serge Gainsbourg's song (written for Brigitte Bardot and recorded with Jane Birken after he and Bardot broke up), is still for me the height of French "litote":

    la Nana: Je t'aime

    le Mec: moi non plus

    i.e. Le macho n'avoue jamais la passion romantique même quand il la ressent, tandis que la nana, qu'elle soit pute ou autre, a toujours besoin du mythe ou du fantasme de l'amour romantique pour justifier le désir tout simple.
  • Bonjour Vicky Colombe !

    Une idée système D: passe ton permis Américain (driving test and written exam) sans dire que tu as un permis français. Aux USA on n'est pas obligé de faire une école de conduite. On peut apprendre comme on veut-- donc tu passes le test (c'est facile) et tu auras les 2 permis. Autrement tu déclares ton permis français perdu quand tu rentres en France, et ils t'en donneront un nouveau... Bon courage.
This reply was deleted.

Visit our bookstore

Visit our store

Learn French