Amuse-Bouche No. 6: Pourquoi Faire Simple?by Julia FreyTaking the Vélib’ for a spin. It’s the biggest Paris transit strike in 10 years. Perfect time to try out the . I’ve never used it before, so I’d better (“take off on the hubcaps,” i.e., at full speed). I go down early.7H02—There’s already a line. The (almost) free bike rental system inaugurated in major French cities in recent years is a victim of its own success. In the first 6 months after it opened in Paris in July, 2007, (), rented bikes 6 million times and rode 7.5 million miles. Elegantly (mouse-gray), a Vélib’ (its name combining “” [bike] and “,” with an apostrophe replacing the last syllables) has a kickstand, headlight, basket and lock. () are detaching from their cars, becoming “” (addicted to soft—i.e., environmentally friendly—transportation). “” There’s a website (Vélib’ + : single) for . Vélib’ for romance: It’s But a Vélib’ is not (tandem), (not ideal for pickups).7H15—Finally, I’m at the head of the line. One bike left! Should I buy a pass for a day or a week? With a one-day pass (€1), I can make as many 30-minute trips as I want within 24 hours. The first half-hour of every jaunt you take that day is free. If your trip lasts longer, costs spiral geometrically: €1 for minutes 31–60, €2 for another 30 minutes and €4 for each subsequent half-hour. Careful. Twenty hours costs €151. Not to mention the €150 credit card deposit against theft or loss. People without bank cards are out of luck.7H20: So are It won’t take my card. The man in line behind me asks “Your doesn’t have ?” My card needs a flea? The , a computer chip embedded in European bank cards, triggers a release mechanism in the (kiosk). No , no . Obviously has a few (literally, “quacks,” i.e., glitches). Head back upstairs, come down with husband’s European credit card.7H35: “My” bike is long gone, but luckily two more bikes have been turned in at the rack. I wait in line again, buy pass with French card, type in number of a Vélib’ s parking slot on keypad at the rack’s computer terminal. (Uh-oh!) Typo! There isn’t any Vélib’ in that slot. Nonetheless, (the rental is recorded) and now I have to return a bike that I don’t have. I feel like a (boob).I decide to call on my (cell phone). After five tries, two unexplained hang-ups and 10 minutes of being on hold, I am told that 1) my doesn’t exist, and 2) my account can’t be traced because the server is down. (Why make it easy when you can make it complicated?) After 20 minutes they unblock my account number.8H20: One bike left. I have 60 seconds to push a button to free the bike. Before I can figure out how to get it out of the stand, my Vélib’ is . That means I can’t take out a bike again for five minutes. (frustrating). Wait. Try again. (mild obscenity). Flat tire.8H32 The borne informs me there’s a station with bikes a 20-minute walk away. I race over.8H52: (great). Two bikes are (available). I liberate the closest one…but it won’t move. Some person or persons unknown have chained it to be sure to have a Vélib’ when they want one. I consider rubbing my chewing gum into their lock’s keyhole.9H01 (At last!) On bike, struggling up hill. Vélib’ is : 22 kilos. But traffic in Paris actually seems less dense since the bikes are available. I wonder if it’s true. As I head downhill, I’m getting into this, the wind in my hair, skirt flapping.9H25 Now I’m (late). I (“broil” [run] a red light). Getting caught would cost €200. Manage to park the bike in a and dash to my meeting. (Whew!) They're starting late because of the transit strike.16H (4 pm.) Learn the strike’s been extended…indefinitely. Why didn’t I go for that one-week pass?© Julia Frey 2009
