Amuse-Bouche No. 10: The Language of Loveby Julia Frey is to have a crush, but (I’ve got you under my skin) has nothing to do with love. That’s lust.In the United States, we pull petals off daisies: “loves me, loves me not.” In France, where hairs are not split, but (cut in quarters), plucking has SEVEN choices: (he loves me, a little, a lot, tenderly, passionately, madly, not at all). Régine, , my informant in matters of the heart, explains:“If he is (crazy about her), he’d say (with true love), d (all my soul) (ditto strength), (ardently), (more than the day), (more than life itself). But his sweetheart would probably dismiss je (idolize) as theatrics. And (revere) would look like idolatry to good Catholics or Calvinists.“ (I'm in love with you) goes the other way, towards ‘smitten,’ and even ‘I've got the hots for you.’ is to have a crush, but (I’ve got you under my skin) has nothing to do with love. That’s lust.“Don’t forget . If you say you imply she’s in love with a person you think is unworthy. After a breakup, someone may say which implies ‘I goofed, I was stupid, I was crazy’ or ‘he/she dumped me.’“Friendship also makes fine distinctions: means ‘I like you a lot.’ is stronger: ‘You mean a lot to me.’ But it has nothing to do with LOVE, i.e., LUV. It would be an absolute bummer to hear that from your (lover). means but is not necessarily LUV. A grandmother might say that to her grandchildren. (hold you dear) is a bit old fashioned. I remember a friend from the Sorbonne who used to say (memories),’ and so on, but he never said to his mistress, whom I knew well.“The problem is partly that in English the word ‘friend’ can include people you hardly know. In French we have (pal), (buddy), (boyfriend), (girlfriend), but becoming an (true friend) takes time. , ”“The Surrealists demanded (crazy love). You had to (lose your head), (rage with love). (distraught, frantic) is violent but not exactly happy.”Indeed, the French like to be like the philosopher Descartes. But with so many words for passion, how can they say they’re ? Even Descartes had a love child with his Dutch cleaning lady. is epidemic. Marguerite Duras in her 1986 novel La Maladie de la Mort considered it fatal. It certainly was for love-struck heroines like Chimène and Phèdre, who die in well-known French tragedies: Corneille’s Le Cid and Racine’s Phèdre. Bérénice, the heroine of two tragedies, one by each playwright, lucked out. She was merely horribly unhappy.Maybe that’s why Albert Cohen’s novel Belle du Seigneur (movie version out soon) has a cult following. It’s a 1,110-page satirical (indictment) of . Its theme? (the insanity, folly) of romantic love.© Julia Frey 2009
