Amuse Bouche No. 2: What's in a name? (): by Julia FreyEven as they dump conventional first names (see Amuse-bouche No. 1), the French remain obsessed with Camille’s () parents never got around to getting married. (legally recognized) by her father, she bears his surname (not -- which means nickname). But seventeen, and status-conscious, Camille wanted the ultimate , a two-part name. Her mother’s includes the preposition (known as the ). World-wide, are impressed by . French snobs even distinguish between , whose titles merely were bestowed by Napoleon, and nobles from before the . So Camille combined both her parents’ last names (which I have changed to protect the guilty). She’s now (called) Camille Bidule de Machin-Chouette (Thingamajig of Whatsherface). Not everyone is impressed. and hoi polloi treat double names like clumsy furniture: (a name with a drawer in it), (with a table extension), (with a hinge), or (which can be unscrewed). She can always unscrew -- It’s just a . Legally she’s still Camille Bidule.Although it’s considered vulgar to ask what you do for a living, in France people want to know your family tree before they decide if they like you. In some circles, being just plain folks ( - mysteriously feminine in this context) or (proletarian) is a source of pride. It’s particularly to say you come from (peasants) or , (workers) if you’re really an .Certain women will marry a man who is cruel, stupid, unethical and unemployed just for his aristocratic name. Rich American families like the Vanderbilts used to purchase titles for their daughters by marrying them to impoverished nobles. Less well-heeled social climbers, like Honoré de Balzac’s father, just slipped in when they thought nobody was looking.These days, you can’t casually adopt a new . Too bad if you’re stuck with a moniker like Marc Deposay (homonym: -- trademark) , not to mention Poubelle (garbage can) or Guillotine, both named for their inventors. Luckily the death penalty has been abolished, and are no longer allowed in the streets for fear of terrorist bombs. All you find when you look for a place to park your gum is a lidded metal hoop with a green plastic bag attached.And don’t think marriage can save a French woman from an unfortunate name. Her identity papers bear her maiden name all her life, adding the name of her husband along with details of her marital status. Thus Aude Wessel (homonym: -- dishwater), when she marries, becomes Aude Wessel (wife of) Fosse (drainage ditch). If the marriage dissolves, she is Aude Wessel Fosse, or if he kicks the bucket, she’s Aude Wessel Fosse. If she remarries, she’s still Aude Wessel, now Bidet.You may envy (pronounce: laypeePOLE) -- the folks you see in , but a famous name is also a mixed blessing. Sara was once married to Pablo Picasso’s son Claude. “It was astonishing,” she said. “From the moment I became Sara Picasso, I ceased to exist. People only cared about my name.“ (Picasso himself complained people bought his paintings for the signature.) She was very young. The marriage didn’t last. Sara existed again. The name is still worth money. In 1998, Claude sold the signature to the French auto maker Citroën, and named their mid-sized model the “Xsara Picasso”. Sara assumes he named the car after her: ex-Sara Picasso!©Julia Frey 2009P.S. Julia Frey (pronounced: fry), an ex-French professor, was amused to discover her students called her “French Frey”.
